Get You Some Self-Care

Self-care is important at the best of times, nay all the time, but most definitely in times like these when the bullshit seems to be endless. And when you’re dealing with mental illness as I have done and I continue to do so, self-care is sometimes the only thing that has got me through living.

So let’s talk about it. Self-Care for me.

Wash Day, wash day is the greatest day ever. I love wash day (oprah “I love bread voice”).  I’m a brotha who takes arduous care of his hair, watching the products I use, making my DIY oils and all that, so finding my wash day routine (thanks Naptural85) and getting to execute it once a week is like the perfect reset button. As the knots in my napz melt away so do my stresses. Fam, I may even wash my hair twice a week just cuz it felt good. I think in part it’s because I find water super relaxing but also because sometimes that could be the only structured, predictable thing during my week. I know what the process entails and what the outcome will be, and if everything around me is chaotic and disorganised wash day can sometimes be the only thing that is concrete.

Podcasts and Music. I’ve already spoken about my love of podcasts, they are the shit, I listen to them on the daily but before podcasts there was and is my first audible love, music. My life would really be nothing without music, I can’t imagine a day when I don’t listen to some music. I’ve had a really eclectic taste in music forever so discovering new sounds, new vibes, new artist, new albums to listen to brings me so much joy. It can really alter and shift my mood when it needs to.  And as much as I refused to get on streaming services for so long, my tidal subscription is really where it’s at.

Solitary activities. Taking myself to the Museum on my lonesome or going to the cinema on my lonesome. Just something where I am not required to accept or deflect other people’s thoughts and opinions and just sit or be by myself and let myself work on me. Essential.

Sports. I’m definitely not a gym buff, I frequently say I don’t believe in the gym. I know it exists as I’ve heard people speak of it but it’s not my portion, not in my denomination. I can firmly say, ‘I don’t know her’. However, I’ll fuck up a sports activity. Obviously tennis stands at the front of that line. Nothing actually makes me happier than when I’m on the tennis court, whether I win or I lose just being out there competing, trying to figure out different ways to play, to win, it gets me every time. Very rarely have I walked off a tennis court at the end of a match or a training session and not been content.

As awful a communicator as I am, and I mean awful. When I do get around to talking to my nearest and dearest, my friends and my family it really does help. I think this is what has been my biggest learning curve, for a long time I’ve not wanted to feel like I was offloading on people. Just coming along and dumping all my shit on them. But that’s the thing about people that love you and care for you, they really are there for you. The good and the bad, to be your shoulder or your listening ear. Those are the people I can let know where I’m at and I can voice my concerns about me and my well-being with. Although it just doesn’t seem to be in my natural makeup to come forth with information and conversation, talking really is key. Communication is key. Letting people know where you’re at is key for you, for them, for relationships of all kinds. I don’t always have to talk to a person, journal’s have all the tea. I journal religiously, everyday because that is still talking, maybe not to a person but I’m getting everything that’s on my chest and on my mind, all the things that are making my brain cloudy, getting them out and putting them somewhere. Journaling  for everybody, here here.

The mind can be the biggest fuckeries sometimes and any way in which we can make things clearer, make things better for ourselves we should do so. Everybody should practice self-care I know I do and I wouldn’t be anywhere without it. Find your self-care. Lemme know.


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